Hi son

Dear Brandon,
Have I ever told you that I think your beautiful? Well I do. Your sitting here next to me on the couch. You have your bowl of string cheese torn into Brandon size chunks and your little green cup of water. In fact right now you shoved the computer off my lap and put my arm around you because you wanted to cuddle while you ate your cheese. I love to sit and stare at your small features some times. Like now, I'm looking at your teeny head and your feet that are half the size of mine. I'm marveling at the fact that legs are the length of my calf. I love how your fingers are the size of my toes. I love looking at how small you are sometimes because when I look at you as a whole you seem so big. Sometimes I have to break it down to remind me your still my little boy. I imagine I'll be able to do this right up until the day you are taller then me.

Your personality is getting so big now. Your favorite movie is Ice Age and during the scary parts you sit up on the edge of your seat and proclaim huh in an exasperated oh no sort of way. Every morning when I turn on the TV you ask me Ish Ashe (Ice Age)? You love to eat cheese, and you have recently discovered shredded cheese, which makes for a nice mess when I serve you up a big plate of grated Parmesan cheese. You think you are too old for your high chair now, so I got you a booster and you sit at the table with daddy and I.

When I ask you where your baby brother is you point to my belly and then you kiss it. I love when you do this.

In the morning when you wake up you run out of your room, climb in my bed and stick your face about an inch from mine and proudly shout MOM HI MOM HI until I roll over. If I don't roll over fast enough you grab my face turn it toward you and say MOOOOOOOOOOM HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. Then I get a big hug and kiss. You only do this with me. You either know better then to wake up dad or you just can't wait to see mom. In fact if I sleep on the other side of the bed you get so pissed off at me until I move.

I've been on bed rest for a while which means I'm not allowed to pick you up. I cheat sometimes because not picking you up just kills me. I hate not feeling like I'm 100% your mom. Your the only thing in my life I feel like I do right, and the only thing I feel totally appreciated for. So not doing my job fully just kills me. I need to pick you up and hold you and spin you around and squish you and cuddle you.

I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how much I love you Brandon. Your still my whole world, your still the best thing I've ever done. You are probably the best thing I'll ever do. Good night my son I love you!